Perfectly secure Bitcoin wallet generation

Generate your own Bitcoin wallet without a computer! Never mind

EDIT: I have been informed that BIP39 derives the last word from SHA hash of all the others, and thus needs a computer to generate the seeds. Thus, this post is moot and useless. I will leave the post here as a mahnmal, in the hope that someone will find something in it useful.

EDIT 2: After the initial failure, I decided to do the next best thing, and write a short program for the ESP8266 that will generate a random seed every time it boots up and print it to a screen. That should be a good compromise, scroll down to see it.

Being the geek that I am, I find Bitcoin fascinating (if only everybody focused on something other than the price!), and hardware wallets doubly so. If you haven’t heard of them, hardware wallets are small, flash-drive-sized devices that usually connect to a computer’s USB port and hold your wallet keys. That way, even if the computer you’re trying to send bitcoins from is riddled with viruses, you remain very secure and nobody but you can pay on your behalf. Unsurprisingly, I bought one! I was between the Trezor and the Ledger Nano S, but I decided on the Nano S in the end, as their platform looks more exciting, more secure and I was quite satisfied from the two HW1s I had bought for cheap at a sale.

However, since I’m in it for the technology and cryptoparanoia, rather than for any practical purpose, I find that hardware wallets have a few issues. For a short primer, a hardware wallet’s main advantage is that the keys are generated on the device and never, ever leave it, as whoever has the keys can spend your money. Since the keys never leave the device, though, you’re screwed if you ever lose it. To avoid that, wallet designers usually allow you to do a one-time export of the keys (many devices have a screen they show you the keys on), right after creating them. The export is usually a Bitcoin standard called BIP39, and is usually in the form of 12 or 24 everyday words, which you write down on a piece of paper, store it in your safe, and that’s all that’s needed to retrieve your keys if you lose the hardware wallet. No computer ever touches the keys, and you can sleep peacefully.

The problem

My problem, though, is that

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